Still Experiencing Belize!!!

I find it amazing how I can still be experiencing Belize after being gone from there for over 9 months! I never imagined that studying abroad could have such an impact on me, the person.
Everyday I strive to make a difference in the world even if it is in a small way and it is from the passion and hope that filled me up in San Mateo that motivates me on a daily basis. I cannot to begin to express the longing I have to return to Belize and stay. I believe that one day I will do just that but I know I have many things to accomplish here first.

I have been working very hard on myself! Trying to work on my "non-specified eating disorder" and the issues that play into it and the many other things I have going on in my head, LOL. I have been doing a lot of reading trying to understand why I do what I do, haha, don't think I will ever figure that one out but I enjoy a challenge. But anyway, I am going to start a new blog about my journey to helping myself. Will probably be a long one :)

Counting Down the Hours Until Internship Is Over!!!

I cannot believe my internship is almost over! There were times I honestly thought I would not see it through until the end. I have had many challenging days as well as many rewarding days. There have been many sleepless nights tossing and turning thinking about the many children I have come in contact with during my days at DHS. I have been offered a job there and will take it but I wonder if I can really make a difference there.
Belize is never far from my mind. There is never a day that goes by that I don't wish that I was back there with the wonderful people that I fell in love with so easily. I miss their smiling, hopeful faces!!

Again, still missing Belize!!!

School is consuming me this semester and I am thankful that I have only 7 hours this last semester! It is the other obligations like my officer duties with
SSWO and commitments I have made like NASW conference and committees I seem to keep on getting appointed to that are keeping me from focusing my efforts on fundraising for Belize. It is very overwhelming at times, not to mention the neglect I feel I have sometimes for the boys.

I have been communicating often with Traci and that is a double-edged sword. I am always so excited to hear from her but saddened when I do because I want to be in Belize with her and my other friends so bad, I need to be useful and I believe I am so much more useful over there. I miss the hope of my friends and the true unconditional love I feel when I am with them.
Every day I grow to dislike MS more and more because of the lack of caring for one another in the community and in the state as a whole. It is difficult for me to understand how I can live in such an unempathetic and uncompassionate society.

Missing Belize

I am missing my friends in Belize really bad! Actually cried today while trying to get a Power Point together for my son's youth group at church. Difficult going on with day-to-day life back here at home and wanting to be with my "family" in Belize. Kinda crazy to have only been there for such a short time and to have gotten so close to the some of the children. I feel like I am so much more useful there than I am here at home. I am happy to be so busy with school so that the sadness of being away from Belize cannot consume me.

Now the Hard Part

Now that I am home, I am finding it difficult to fit into the day to day smuck. I have become very inpatient and intolerable of ignorant and uncompassionate people. Even going into my Hernando Wal-Mart (what better place to find morons) I am bombarded with ignorant and distasteful individuals just because of the braids in my hair. Like your "wife-beater", shorts and hiking boots when it is 30 degrees outside is much of a fashion statement?!
I dream of Belize every night and my dreams are so vivid that they pacify my longing to back there. I miss the happiness of the people, a simpler life, and the bright faces of the children I became so close to in such a short period of time.
The hard part now is raising funds for the roads in San Mateo. We have opened a bank account and are checking into establishing non -profit status. So anyone who would like to donate can send a check to me, made out to San Mateo Empowerment Project.

Misc. pics

It is so nice to be home with everyone that I love and nice to have been missed so much! I cannot lie though, I already miss Belize and the smiling faces of the children. It is very difficult being back in MS because we seem to have an abundance of IDIOTS, who are self-absorded and oblivious to anyone else, GRRRRRR!!!

Enjoy the pics

Saying goodbye

I am already home. Was unable to update blog past couple of day because of internet issues.
Our last (and third) community meeting was unbelievably successful, there was close to 90 locals there!! This is remarkable considering we only had 7 locals at the 1st meeting. Committees were created and locals signed up for the ones in which they would be of the greatest help. It is truly amazing to be a part of something that has the power to make such a difference in so many lives. Our task as students now that we are home is to inform people of why building roads in San Mateo is so important and then to raise the funds needed to accomplish this goal. The locals have so much hope and desire to improve the lives of their children that I have no doubt that this goal will be reached.
More pics will be posted soon!

Busy,busy,busy

Mayan ruins and cave tubing were awesome!! Van ride was unreal going 95 down two-way road playing chicken with on coming vehicles. Getting sad to leave the many friends I have made here but ready to get home to see everyone. Snorkeled again yesterday and just tried to chill some. Can't wait to share all my pics and this experience with everyone.

Imagine never having been grocery shopping

Today was a very humbling day. We took "our girls" grocery shopping and they had never been before. After meeting her mother she completely broke down because of being so grateful, I have never been so touched in my life.

After shopping for groceries we also took them shopping for a few clothing items they needed, they also had never been clothes shopping before, all of their clothing is either given to them by others or passed down from siblings.

San Pedro Sun

Check out www.sanpedrosun.net San Mateo Issues to be Addressed from today's issue and Service for Sight donates eyeglasses from the January 7th edition. Have copies but thought you may want go ahead and take a look.
I am headed off grocery shopping and then fishing with "my girl," her mother and little sister. Hope to catch a BIG ONE!!!:)

Lesson for the day

-If you are empty you can't help someone fill themselves up

-If you push your body so hard it WILL shut down on you

-KeeKee Dee and Elton John can pick anybody up, Neil Diamond is not so bad either

Had another amazing day with my girl! She has taught me so much the past 2 days, I can only hope that I able to pass something on to her. As the VP of the Student Social Work Organization one of my duties is to help design the T-shirts for the Spring semester. The girl I am working with is an amazing artist (one of her more constructive outlets) so I passed off my task to her, she was very excited, her "assignment is due by Thursday." Send prayers and love my way, I need strength and wisdom to keep my tongue from being sharp, must be selfish sometimes, :)!!!

Thank you for the words of encouragement today on the phone, I know I can always count on ya'll.

1st day of school

As you can see, 2 of the pics are of the cafetieria, the other is one of the breezeways in between the class rooms. The children were headed back to class after lunch and a bathroom break. I was assigned my child today and was a little anxious at first but we started clicking pretty quick. She was quick to share many personal things and experiences with me and is extremely bright. My day was made when she asked me to meet her at the school 30 minutes before school started, I will be there for sure!

Went to church this morning

I got up this morning and went to church with Dr. Shackelford. Believe it or not I felt free to sing all of the hymns (there were MANY). The service was conducted more like a bible study and we looked at 1 Corinthians 14 (think that is correct) and also something in Romans. It was mainly about eating and trusting that things are what God wants you to do. This was particuarly amazing to me that we would study this topic the one day I would chose to go to church considering I have believed myself to be an agnostic, I can't remember the last time I went to church and enjoyed being there and the struggles I have not been able to shake with my bulimia over the past 22 years. God was speaking to me today there is no doubt in my mind. I will never be a thumper by any means but this day like my others here will have an everlasting effect on my life.

The service was translated for us so it was difficult at times because they would speak over one another but also get tickled at each other when they did so :).

Tomorrow we will go to Holy Cross School and be assigned our student to begin our psychosocial analysis on. Then we will hopefully have time to implement a behavior modification plan that can be carried out to improve behavior which will in turn improve all aspects of the child's life. Hoping to make a difference one child at a time.

Who's up for swimming with sharks?

Believe it or not we were all crazy enough to get in the water even knowing the captain was putting chum in the water to attrack sharks (they were scared of us,friendly) and we were able to pet string ray!! This was our second snorkeling trip of the day. Our 1st one was much longer and we strayed much further from the cantamaray(sp?). We also saw sharks, string ray, eel and baracuda on this trip. A storm blew in and it was extremely windy, rough and cold. I slept well in 1 of 4 of the bedrooms on Biggz boat.

The 2nd community meeting we had in San Mateo tonight was very successful even though the weather was cold and windy. We had 7 locals the 1st meeting and this evening we had 23! We have found another American who is extremely wealthy who is willing to help us with our fundraising efforts for building the roads in San Mateo as long as we agree to not contract the work to government affiliated businesses or give a nickel to the government so that is an easy committment for us to make. He also has other connections for fundraising abilities. The people of San Mateo are MORE than willing to build the roads theirselves so labor should not be an issue.

Dinner with Biggz

Biggz is our bodyguard and will be our guide today while out
snorkeling at the reef. We are making 3 differents stops on different
points of the island. Biggz is by far one the gentlest and kindest souls
I have ever had the privilege of meeting and I am honored to be
able to call him my friend.

He fixed us the most amazing dinner with shrimp and fish with fresh vegetables over rice with a cheese sauce. MMMMMM!!! I think I will take him home with me :)
I haven't had meat since I have been here, maybe go vegetarian, why not?

Meeting with Education Director and Poitician

Yesterday we listened to the Education Director speak (female pictured) and the politician in charge of tourisim on the island and apparently many other things. We questioned him about the possibility of building roads in San Mateo if WE, the students from Ole Miss, were able to raise the funds through fundraising. He was very excited about the enthusiasm we posess to work with this community. If we can provide the $ they can provide the manpower which will give these people a much better sense of accomplishment and pride by doing with their own sweat. The locals are such strong people both physically and mentally that one cannot help but be inspired by them.

And of course there is always time for a little fun while in Belize! 8) Rented some golf carts yesterday, that's really the only means of transportation around here other than bicycling or footin it and we have done our share of that. Think we toured every drinking hole on the island, just looked around OF COURSE, lol! Enjoy the pics!

After working with Dr. Daniel I went with the other students to meet with the reporter for the San Pedro Press and spoke about the issues concerning the residents of San Mateo. There will be an article on the front page of the paper discussing all of the work we are doing here and a group photo! I will make sure to bring back plenty of copies. There will also be a follow-up piece next week. After class we met with members of the community to hear what their major concerns and goals they have. It was decided that they would like to focus on building roads. So our task the rest of the time here is to help them come together as a community and build on their strengths so they can eventually reach this goal, which is a difficult one. The political atmosphere here is one that does not focus much on what is important to the people but what will fatten their wallets and not even close to what it is like in the U.S. We are very fortunate.

I have been so touched the people here, I will never be the same person as when I left home!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work I go!

I am on my way out the door again to work with Dr. Daniel until we have to be at Holy Cross School at 9:20. The local newspaper will be meeting us there to discuss the meeting we plan on having this afternoon with the San Mateo locals. Words cannot begin to express the excitement I have about being involved in this process. Thank you Dr. Watson for preparing me. Yesterday I asked Dr. Shackelford if we needed an agenda before our 4:00 meeting and she looked at me like I was speaking another language, it was priceless!

Working in San Mateo

I can officially say I have washed my feet in a toilet. Before traveling to San Mateo I would have never have had the thought to stick my foot in a toilet to clean it but the water in the toilet was much cleaner than the sewage that was on my foot! I can only hope that I will allow the things that I have witnessed and experienced here to impact me for a lifetime.

Today I worked in Dr. Daniel's clinic before going to Holy Cross. After hearing Dr. Shackelford lecture we went out into the San Mateo community and made the locals aware of a meeting we plan on having at 4:00 tomorrow at Holy Cross School about some of the concerns the locals have shared with us like lack of roads, lack of lighting, and issues with their water. We just went "door knocking" and are keeping our fingers crossed leaders in the community will show up.

Ambergris Hope Clinic

I had the privilege and challenge of working at the Clinic. At any given time there were at least 5 locals waiting to be seen. The first lady we saw had been boiling water to take a bath and had burned both her arms from her wrists to her elbows. Dr Daniel and I drained the blisters and scraped the skin off her arms and rebandaged her.

All day long there were babies needing breathing treatments with abuteral. And apparently it is not that difficult to use a syringe and get the correct amount of meds for these treatments because I did it, LOL. One of the hardest things to get used to yesterday was the lack compassion and I guess empathy from the doctor and nurse for the people but I guess they provide a service just like a mechanic provides a service.

We had lots of 13 and 14 yr olds coming in pregnant for check ups and a 14 yr old came in with her 10 day old. This teenage girl affected me like I cannot explain. From the moment she walked in I could see the pain she carried with her and it hurt. She would not make eye contact and she never interacted with her baby. She has been being raped by her uncle since she was 11 and her mother refused to report. Luckily she will continue to go to school but I don't know if she will really even hear what is being said to her. There were so many other stories I could write about but I will save them for my book, LOL!

Volunteering at local clinic

Today I am so excited about getting to work with a Dr that delivers babies here on the island. Most of the women have not received any type of prenatal care.
I am looking forward to sharing my day with you.

Most beautiful beaches

As promised here are the pics ocean and a few where we are staying. I will post more tonight after class and before I go to bed.

Jua'quin ,June, and Robert

The children are just as excited having us here as we are about being here. Every morning as soon as we step foot outside they are waiting on us. This pic was taking after we had been jumping off the pier and went swimming in the pool. The boys saw a mantaray and found conch while we were out there.

Once I get out and about this morning I will post some pics of the ocean and the area we are staying in. Love and miss ya'll!

Visiting with new friends

Today was an amazing day! We spent the day with a family that has very little but has an overwhelming amount of undescribable faith and happiness that is unlike anything I have ever witnessed. They fed us an amount of food that could probably feed their family for a month and were so grateful to have us share the day with them. The children (there were at least 8 of them) had a dance contest, which was hysterical!

Happy New Year from Belize

There is no way to describe how different things are here. Everything is so laid back and one never knows what time it is or really cares.

I thought I would submerge myself in the culture yesterday and had my hair done in cornrows and braids, I absolutely LOVE it!

We are going to have New Year's day lunch with a girl that attends the school we will be working at and her family. They are extremely poor. In Belize this is a huge honor to be invited to a family's home for New Year's dinner. I am looking forward to it.